MrDiva

It's been forever, AGAIN, since I've written anything in here. A lot has changed. I don't really get much of an opportunity to keep in close contact with people so I figured I'd give everyone who reads this a little update. Seeing that in my last entry I said I was excited for a great summer there is a lot to put in here. I hope I can get it all.

I got a job with a major telecommunications company which mainly offers customer support for tens of thousands of clients. I work there as a training coordinator right under my boss who is the VP of training and development for the entire global coorporation. I started out in our office in Bloomsburg. They had me traveling all over the US to go and train employees on different programs or to launch programs themselves. Shortly after I got back from our Nogales location in AZ I decided to relocate and take a promotion. So around October of last year I moved back to the good ol' state of NY to live in Buffalo. Now I head the training department for one of our highest profile clients. I'm required to be very veague but I can say some stuff. My main program is a banking program which spans four of our centers. There is one in Bloomsburg, PA, Amherst, NY, Morilton AK, and Spokane WA. It's really exciting now because the bank is going through a LOT of changes which is pretty cool to be in my position because I'm usually one of the first to know because I have to train my employees on everything new. In fact I have to go and start getting ready soon because I teach a class from 1-9 tonight.

Other than work, which really isn't much because I'm pretty absorbed in it all, I just started creating and maintaining a website for my one friend who is in a band here in Buffalo. I live in a 3 bedroom house with my boyfriend Kevin and our three dogs. I still have a few things at my apartment that I need to get moved here to the house but most everything is here. You guys can see pics of us on my facebook or myspace if you haven't already. Which reminds me. I haven't had time to even do anyting on those recently except for what I can do from my Blackberry. But our home office is comming along quite nice and soon I should have it all up and running. It wouldn't feel like my home unless I could controle most everything from my phone ;-)

This weekend should be prett ecxiting. It's going to be our spring cleaning weekend. We have a lot of work to do outside the house. We're going to start our garden and get all the landscaping cleaned up. We are also going to start work to finish off our florida room. We're going to enclose it to make our hot tub room an all weather room and put a patio off of that. It's kind of weird having a house right now. I figured I would be renting until I was a little older but whatevs.

Anyway I'm going to go and finish up some work and finish my coffee then probably get ready and head into the office until 9 :-(

Hope all is well and I'll try and keep everyone updated more.

Peace :-)

 Yesterday I spent all day with Kris.
It was a wonderful day.
I have an accounting mid term in a little bit. Eiw.

I want a freezer pop but they be all up in Dodge and I'm in Leach :-(

Monday I mailed out a couple checks for my Mother to deposit in my bank account. She called today and I figured it was because she wanted to tell me that she deposited the checks in my account and could use the money for what I wanted and such. She called during Sem so I called when class ended and I was on my way to Kris's room. She did in fact tell me that she was on her way back from the bank. Her next words we're, "We had to put Whitey to sleep this morning."

I stopped and collapsed (gracefully so it looked like I was sitting) in front of Weld. Aparently he hasn't been eating normally for about two weeks. Only wet food sometimes and treats. Nothing close to what he needs to sustain himself. I felt so many emotions at once I didn't know what to do. I ended the conversation with my mom and went to Kris's room and sat on his bed. I put my arms out for a hug and as soon as he hugged me I started bawling for about a half an hour. I only wish it felt like it was that short.

I knew this day was coming for a long time now. He was a miniature wolf, All white fur. Not albino, in fact he had black skin and eyes but all white fur. He just turned 17 years old. I got him when I was three. I remember the day he came home. My father and mother went out for milk while my mom's best friend MaryAnne watched me. Needless to say they didn't come back with milk. I remember talking with my mom in the kitchen. She told me to pick a name for him. I was so small the only name I knew for a dog was Spot and Wishbone. She wouldn't allow me to call him spot since he was all white so I named him Whitey. I was also too young to be racist BTW. 

I used to play hide and seek with him. I would but him on my bed in my blankets and I would run and hide. By the time he got out of my blankets and off of my bed I was able to find a spot. He always found me except for one time when I hid in our bathroom closet. I think he couldn't smell me from the laundry detergent and fabric softener I was hiding around. I remember peering through the opening between the doors and watching as he sat down in the middle fo the hallway and started whimpering. When I came out he ran at me with such force we both fell back into the closet with all the clean towells. 

There was also the usual walks, falling asleep in my bed, playing ball, running in the yard, playing in the leaves. All the usual dog memories. We were inseperable. I remember taking him out to play in the snow during the blizzard of '98. I lost him so many times but then out of no where he would run up and jump on me pushing me back into the three feet of snow. 

I used to put a towell on the tank of my fourwheeler so he could jump up on the tank without scratching the paint with his nails and so that he could have better grip when we would ride. My mom used to let him in my room in the morning to wake me up for school. He would jump on my bed and lick my face and dig at my blankets.

When I moved to Wells my parents would put me on speaker phone for him to fall asleep. They said without it he would lay on my bed and whimper. I also had to talk to him once or twice to get him to eat until he was used to me being away from the house. 

He was one of the only things that was constant and stable in my house for me growing up. He was there for me whenever I needed him. Whether I was at fault for something or not. He was the one I talked to when I had no friends in middle school. I remember one time my Dad was going to spank me for doing something bad, probably to my sister, and Whitey jumped up and bit his hand.

I can't believe that my parents didn't tell me earlier. I know it can't be easy calling with bad news and I probably would have made a trip down there but I would have liked to know something was wrong. Along with the checks I sent a handwritten letter cause I thought it would be neat and have more meaning than the usual email. In the letter I told my mom to pet him and give him two extra treats for me. They didn't get the mail until after they were back from the vet. I hate the mail. I wish they would have called before they put him to sleep so I could have at least said goodbye. Even if it were over the phone.

I haven't posted to this in forever. 

So. In case anyone is wondering. I'm living in the Utica area for the summer. With Lori and Rich. Everything's goin great so far. I've been slacking (aka still don't have one) in the summer job region, however everything else is still great. I love this area although I think it may be too far out in the country. 

I love being able to be with Rich all the time. We complement each other very well. He's amazing to me and more. I've been a little depressed latley though, because he hasn't said the "L" word yet. It's only been two months though so I don't think I have anything to worry about. I don't want to tell him that's why I've been down a lil though because I don't want to pressure him into saying anything he doesn't want to. 

P.S. I miss everyone at Wells. It feels like I've been away for five freakin years. I can't wait to go back. I especially miss Stephanie, Julia, and Danielle!!!! They're amazing. And because of that I know the'll be reading this. 

oh and Steph (Mom). When I give the mooses food. If I hold the food between my fingers for them to take. Cucumber takes the food with her little paws. It's so cute. It's like I'm haning her her meal. They miss their mom!!!!!


I miss Danielle and My hoo hoo .... I just want to be back in Dodge with my friends yo!!!! I'm totally building a replica of Dodge for us to live in when we're older. Of course it will be located in the couryard of my house but it will Be just LIke dodge!!!!!!!!


ok so no more drinking for me and I'll post something with a little more substance later!!!!


Love ya All !!!!!!

So ...

today ... 

someone said this about me ...

"Bruce is the most beautiful and inspiring person I know .... I love that kid"

and ...

I just thought she should know ...

That people like me wouldn't be here without people like you
You're amazing in every way
You're strong when I am weak
You take me high when I'm low
You make me see the good in life
You make life worth living
Your smile makes the sun look dim
You're extremely intelligent
You're beautiful beyond all belief
You're simply ...

an amazing friend
my one close friend
the definition of friend

My BEST friend

and 

I love you!!!

<3

So I know it's been forever since I've written anything at all. I've been uber busy lately. I guess I just wanna say I lov eall of my friends even if I'm not around a lot. You're all too good to be true. I'll give you all an update in the next day or so when I can write more. 

Muah!

- Bruce

So it's been a while since the last time I wrote in here. Imagine that. Although, I figure if I don't write in here for too long of a time Steph will yell at me. So I'm now single. It was going well without too many complications until some bitches who shall go unnamed started with rumors and lies. But that's alright cause it's not ruining their lives now is it. In recent news I feel like shit or like a train of shit hit me, it's your choice. 

On the brighter side of things I actually feel free now and am no longer sad all the time. Not to say that the past year wasn't worth it. I wouldn't change anything if I had the chance, it's just time that we let things die (much like I wish certain bitches would)


G*night everyone ... :)

So things the past few weeks were not horrible but I've been happier. My friends have been a big help in getting me through. I love you guys so much. Tonight was a little rocky at first here in Ithaca but now their all ok. Well mostly ok. I think things are going to get better from here. Which means that I will be even more happy and shall I say it. Gay. Meaning happy, because I don't know if I can get any more the other way.

On another note. I simply can't wait for Steph and I to get our "fish." It's going to be AMAaaazing. We need to come up with names!!!!


That's all for now. It's a little late.

Good Night Lovers!!!

So I'm starting this journal thing. No real reason I guess. Well I do have some reasons. It's going to be a way for me to communicate myself to other people. I used to think that everyone has to see the strong me, the together me, the happy me, the "perfect me." That's not to say that I am perfect. I know I have many faults. I've struggled with the idea of being alone in this world for too many years. I've lied, cheated, boasted, and about anything else you can think of to surround myself with people. I was alone once and it was the worst time of my life. I swore that I would never let that happen again, at any cost. So I've put up this nice little shell of safeguards and lies to help keep people around me. The only problem is that I'm beginning to realize that all it's accomplished is making me more isolated then I had ever been. For the most part I haven't lied about who I am and what I stand for to my current friends. It's nice to know that they love and accept me for who I am. I think it's time that I start opening up a little to them. Letting them see the me that's not so strong all the time. I believe I'm going to have to start depending on them to help me be strong when I'm not because I'm wearing myself thin inside this shell of mine.

It's hard for me to open up to people face to face. I feel like I'm waisting their time or being a burden. This is a place where I am able to post my feelings and people can respond to them if they want, read them if they want, or not even bother. I'm not sure how often I'll write or if it will be emotional stuff all the time but I do believe it will help.